Scars/ Dreams

 I woke up with a scar

The other day I was missing my father and decided to wear his socks

It's a bit weird but my mom finds it cute

I missed my dad so much that I just had to sleep to avoid longing for him

To my surprise, he appeared in my dreams

Finally coming home from what I think is hell

And giving us the tightest hugs with kisses as well

He said he came to say goodbye

I cried

I cried as I saw the police putting him in handcuffs... Telling him his time has lapsed

The tears on my face were followed by a panick attack

I couldn't breathe properly anymore

And then I woke up

With actual tears on my face

I had a short prayer and went back to sleep

A few days later, I was attacked by a memory I never wish to remember

I memory that scard me for life

It kept on hopping into my brain for a while and I distracted myself till it faded away 

I thought it had stopped

But it didn't

Because this time around I didn't wake up with just emotional scars

But I had hurt myself  physically in my sleep trying to numb the pain

And now I'm scard for life with this poem

But maybe it's a way of letting go

Like leaves on a tree

I'm not fighting the process any more

It hurts, yes

But I'm giving up comfort temporarily

For peace eternally